Now is a time for made up vendettas!

Perhaps this is just me, but this is the driving scenario I'm currently living with.

I get fairly bored on my way anywhere if I'm the only person in the car, so I make up games for myself to play. The only game that I still find WILDLY entertaining is "Fuck that guy!"

Here's how you play. Maybe you play and you don't even realize it.

Step one: Start driving.
Step two: Pick a car. Any car. It's even more fun if the driver has wronged you in some way, like cut you off, or blazed ahead of you when you're already driving ten miles over the speed limit. Or driven too slowly, but you can't get into another lane (which is obviously their fault. Clearly). Whatever they've done, or haven't done, pick your car.
Step three: Get to wherever you need to before they do, and delight in every single thing that holds them up.
Step four: Every time they get held up, happily yell, "Fuck that guy!"

It's kind of like watching football. You're the Home Team, and those other guys can get fucked for all you care.

Here's when I noticed that I was playing.

A few nights ago, on my way home from class, there was what can only be described as a superfluous amount of road work being done, forcing drivers to merge into one lane. This is never, ever, ever pleasant, because people are dicks and don't want to let anybody in. Exerting brute force and being insanely aggressive is always necessary.

I was sitting in my car, feeling agitated and minding my own business, when I see lights coming up behind me, on the wrong side of the road. So I turn around, and what do my little eyes spy? Some ballsy mother fucker driving up the shoulder, gearing himself up to cut in on someone because he's more important and impatient than the rest of us. Who did he cut in on? ME. That. Fucking. ASSHOLE.

So, when the jam cleared up, I tailed him. I watched and rejoiced when people were driving too slowly for him, but he was forced to stay behind them because nobody in the lane next to him would let him dick move his way in front of them. It pleased me so greatly that when I finally drove ahead of him, I laughed out loud. I kept an eye on him, and when I took my exit ramp and he was still behind me, I felt victorious. Victorious enough to shout, "I win, asshole!"

And that's how the game started.

I don't always win, and I feel the crushing pangs of defeat when I don't. But it's grand when I do.

"Fuck That Guy!" is definitely available in all states, and it's fun for everyone!