Hypocapnia my ass.

I finally got to see a huge number of views for my blog. 11,111. Aw yiss.

In today-was-totally-fucking-shit news, let's tick down the list of what happened:

- FedEx Office decided to be completely incompetent. Not terribly huge, but it's the tip of the iceberg.
- When I was getting ready to leave their parking lot, my car decides to die. Like a fucking champion. After a few minutes of me doing the following...crying hysterically, calling my professor to extend my presentation, calling my mom while still in hysterics, then talking to her serviceman, my car starts. Yay!
- While driving out of the parking lot, my car died. AGAIN.
- I called Tom to see if he'd come get me. Stevie got me first. Tom and Stevie got into a bicker war, which is completely my fault. Cool times.
- I got home and found out my car has a warranty, but I might be outside of it, because I somehow managed to drive 24 thousand miles in a year. I didn't even fucking go anywhere exciting. How did I manage that? There's still hope that I'm wrong about the amount of miles that were on the car, so that may not be wholly bad.
- Allen and I were eating dinner together and happily watching Star Trek when I get a text from The Swede, which promptly put me in a foul (read: upset to the point of tears) mood. It would have just been easier if he had stayed gone. I don't know how many times in my life I can say that and mean it before my heart breaks completely.

This is not to say that I am so broken up over The Swede and what he said that it's going to ruin me forever. Quite the contrary. I literally cried a few tears, and while I'm upset and disappointed, I'm going to be fine tomorrow. Do I feel foolish for believing the things he said to me the night before he disappeared? Of course I do. Anybody would. Then again, taking people at face value has always been my problem. I've always run under the assumption that because I wouldn't treat people a certain way, that they'd do me the courtesy So rarely is that the case. Such a shame, really. Maybe one day I'll be right.

I talked to my mom about this the other night. My mom thinks I'm a sex addict, and she's not the only person who thinks that. However, I don't speak about my growing understanding of my pathology, because I don't think I'm ready to discuss all of it at once yet. She did say that I need to go out of my way to not fuck anybody for a long, long time. She said I've let my sexuality define me, and that's not something anybody should ever do, especially somebody like me who has so much more to offer than that, and sex should be the least exciting thing about me. It's difficult to get into that mindset, honestly.