It has been a terrible, horrible, no good, VERY bad day.
In lighter news for the moment, this is a thing that exists:
http://popuptee.com/collections/frontpage/products/its-not-long-at-all
That is such a seriously awesome fucking shirt. I can't even take it. I wish I didn't have two grand in bills to pay in the next couple of days, I would buy it up right this very moment, because it needs to be in my life. Sadly, the shirt will be gone by Friday when I get paid and I'd be able to get it. Balls. I hate being a responsible adult sometimes.
Allen and I got into a fucking HUGE fight today. It was awful, and I think he's still mad at me. It's been bumming me hard all day.
98% of the people who've called in to me today are talking to me like I'm a fucking retard, which I categorically am NOT.
I had do do twenty bazillion things in DORA, because the stupid contract drafts for 2014 just wouldn't behave, and I was beyond frustrated. I think, total, that took me three hours to finish.
Sara wasn't feeling well, so she went home early. I hope she's resting up and feeling better.
In other news that is not me bitching about my shitty day, Saturday night is our non-work Christmas shindig. I am so excited. Allen might bring Lindsay, because Sara said the more the merrier (festive!), and also because, while everybody that's going to be there is very fond of Allen, it might be nice for him to have someone there that is just for him in case he starts to feel awkward or something. I don't know.
Ryan bought the last three Cards Against Humanity Extensions, so I'm really looking forward to playing that with everybody and getting wastey-faced. Also food, because everybody is bringing something. I'm going to make chocolate chip pumpkin bread.
I have so much work to do tonight, but hopefully I'll be done in time to go up to GoG and do some sky staring. I've been kind of looking forward to that all day. I don't have to wake up early tomorrow, but I did want to catch some study time for one last cram push before my final tomorrow.
I am 100% planning on going out and taking photos next week. Thursday. Stevie and I have been planning on day-drinking the first free day from school, and Wednesday is the first free day for both of us. I'm looking forward to that, too. Anybody that doesn't like day drinking is not somebody that I need to associate myself with. Oh, the best things about me never, ever change.
Tuesday, December 10, 2013
Monday, December 9, 2013
In an infinite multiverse, there's no such thing as fiction
I would go out and stare at the stars tonight, but number one, the sky is too cloudy. Number two, it's fucking freezing out. Number three...that one is mine. I'm not sharing number three.
I cannot handle marketing right now. I don't...I can't fucking do it.
If I finish what I need to do tonight, and I know I will, I think I'll bundle up tomorrow night, grab a coffee, and sit at The Spot at GoG. I haven't been there for quite some time. I wanted to go watch the Geminids the other night, but the weather was far too awful for that, and I didn't really want to go do that alone. So I opted to not. In my head, though, the owls would have been calling, the wolves would have been baying, every single star would have been brightly shining, or bravely falling, and the world would have been almost perfect.
I cannot handle marketing right now. I don't...I can't fucking do it.
If I finish what I need to do tonight, and I know I will, I think I'll bundle up tomorrow night, grab a coffee, and sit at The Spot at GoG. I haven't been there for quite some time. I wanted to go watch the Geminids the other night, but the weather was far too awful for that, and I didn't really want to go do that alone. So I opted to not. In my head, though, the owls would have been calling, the wolves would have been baying, every single star would have been brightly shining, or bravely falling, and the world would have been almost perfect.
Sunday, December 8, 2013
I literally have an apple in the pocket of my coat. And I don't remember putting it there.
I've been listening to old music today. The song I currently have on repeat is:
I fucking LOVE Otis Redding. Sure, everybody likes Sittin' On The Dock of the Bay. It's a solid song. But Coffee and Cigarettes, Love Man, and A Change is Gonna Come are so so so much better.
Stevie and I have been chatting about all of the things we're going to do if we move in together. This spiraled into a conversation about how radical the CEO of Costco is, and how much Wal*Mart fucking blows, and why The Salvation Army, Jelly Belly, and Chick-Fil-A are spearheaded by assholes.
I am so excited to leave work today. I'm tired, and kind of hungry (I did improvise myself a grilled cheese for lunch today, which I'm exceptionally thrilled with myself for. I'm a god damn genius).
Stevie and I are talking about renting a house now. I am so excited about this. We're thinking a three bedroom, so we can each have our own room, and then share an office.
Allen is thinking about buying a house.
there is so much adult stuff going on, and I'm currently thinking about Tupperware.
Saturday, December 7, 2013
Good god damn, I love adverbs!...ly
The work Christmas party was last night.
I wish I could say I had an awful time, but I really didn't.
The Swede came and picked me up, and he looked absolutely handsome. This wasn't a shock, since I find him handsome regularly. But he really stepped it up last night, and the outcome was wonderful. I internally swooned a little bit. Ok. A lot a bit.
The drive up to Monument, once we escaped the hideous I-25 traffic, was just gorgeous. Everything was covered in snow, and the streets were lined with huge, snowy trees. The effect was, as I always say of the snow, like staring at magic.
Having never been to a work function (1. I never had anybody that wanted to go with me, and I didn't want to show up alone and B. I always assumed I'd be bored out of my mind because nobody likes me), I had no idea The Hideaway is as pretty as it is. I introduced The Swede to the few people I like, we grabbed drinks, and then sat down at an empty table. I told him that yt?if it wound up being just us at the table, that I wouldn't care one bit. Sara came over and said she was going to sit with us instead, and then one of our vendors came over and sat next to me, and he was a riot to sit next to. He had a musical tie, which delighted me to no end, and he was pretty much a dead ringer for NPH. After dinner (which was decent, but nothing to write home about), they had this DELICIOUS peach cobbler for dessert. Sara got up to do some things, and Mark (our St. Aubyn vendor) stole her cobbler, and it actually took her awhile to notice. I think I had more fun with The Swede, Sara, and Mark than I did mingling with everybody else. Which I refrained from doing.
Sara told us that there was foosball and ping pong downstairs, so we grabbed our wine and moseyed. I played some foosball...fucking HORRIBLY...with Sara, Mark, and Danny, played an absolutely shit game of ping pong, watched a bit of Shark Tank, and then Sara suggested that the three of us leave and go to a bar, because she was bored, and we were bored (though, actually, when Sara and I had this conversation, The Swede was knee-deep in a ping pong game with one of my agents), and playing darts would have been ten times more fun. The Swede finished his game, and then we all left and went to Hilltop. It was so deliciously dive-y! I loved it. We were so overdressed, but that didn't matter a wink to me. We played a couple games of darts, and then we played pool.
Holy shit.
The Swede is fucking GOOD at pool. I'm not so bad myself, but jesus. It sparked such a fun competitive streak in me. I won the first game we played, he won the second, and I won the third by default because he scratched the eight (with honestly one of the most gorgeous pool shots I've ever seen in person). But he's really, really good. And again, not to be all gushy, but he looked god damn incredible. During the first game we played, I sank a pretty fucking gorgeous shot that made everybody go, "Damn!" or some similar exclamation, and Sara looked at The Swede and goes, "Yeah. I know her." this made me laugh uproariously. I spent most of the evening laughing. It was such a good night.
Sara bailed at about midnight. Stevie and Mike were considering meeting up with us, but Mike fell asleep and Stevie had flex time at 4, so that didn't happen, and The Swede and I left at 12:45 (after playing our final game of pool. The one I won on a technicality). That bar was actually really fucking fantastic. I made generic friends with quite a few people that were there, everybody was so friendly...I may tell Sara we should go back. She very much liked The Swede. We're in the middle of planning a non-office Work Christmas Party, and she told The Swede he needs to come.
It was so fucking cold out last night. It was 0 degrees when we left, and for some reason, my room never ever ever got warm. The Swede and I were balled together the whole night, and when I woke up this morning, his face was damn near frozen. The rest of him was quite warm (because my body is a god damn heater, and I was draped all about him like some sort of climbing vine), but his poor face. Ice.
I told him last night that I had missed him in the time I haven't seen him. And it made me nervous to do so. I don't want to freak him out or scare him off or anything along those lines, because I truly enjoy his company, and I'm very, very happy when he's around. I also don't want to walk down a route of things I say or feel not being reciprocated. That's ugly, and it doesn't feel nice. I have this horrible fear of that, but I also have this horrible need to be honest. When I feel something, I say it. Because I'm a fucking adult, that's why, and that's what adults do. We've been seeing each other for a month, and I'm getting to the point where I'd like to see him more often, and also that starting to actively and genuinely care about him. I'd hate to be alone in that, and the scared, nervous, insecure girl in me wants to just throw in the towel now and save myself the aggravation of finding out that that's just me, and he doesn't feel the same way, and Drea comes out looking foolish again.
INSTEAD, I'm just going to try and tone it down and be sensible and not be a freak, and I'll play this by ear. If he's got that going on, too, well that's fucking aces, and I'll be more than pleased. If not, I won't have said anything ridiculous, and I won't have to worry about budding feels getting trampled over. Everybody wins.
I wish I could say I had an awful time, but I really didn't.
The Swede came and picked me up, and he looked absolutely handsome. This wasn't a shock, since I find him handsome regularly. But he really stepped it up last night, and the outcome was wonderful. I internally swooned a little bit. Ok. A lot a bit.
The drive up to Monument, once we escaped the hideous I-25 traffic, was just gorgeous. Everything was covered in snow, and the streets were lined with huge, snowy trees. The effect was, as I always say of the snow, like staring at magic.
Having never been to a work function (1. I never had anybody that wanted to go with me, and I didn't want to show up alone and B. I always assumed I'd be bored out of my mind because nobody likes me), I had no idea The Hideaway is as pretty as it is. I introduced The Swede to the few people I like, we grabbed drinks, and then sat down at an empty table. I told him that yt?if it wound up being just us at the table, that I wouldn't care one bit. Sara came over and said she was going to sit with us instead, and then one of our vendors came over and sat next to me, and he was a riot to sit next to. He had a musical tie, which delighted me to no end, and he was pretty much a dead ringer for NPH. After dinner (which was decent, but nothing to write home about), they had this DELICIOUS peach cobbler for dessert. Sara got up to do some things, and Mark (our St. Aubyn vendor) stole her cobbler, and it actually took her awhile to notice. I think I had more fun with The Swede, Sara, and Mark than I did mingling with everybody else. Which I refrained from doing.
Sara told us that there was foosball and ping pong downstairs, so we grabbed our wine and moseyed. I played some foosball...fucking HORRIBLY...with Sara, Mark, and Danny, played an absolutely shit game of ping pong, watched a bit of Shark Tank, and then Sara suggested that the three of us leave and go to a bar, because she was bored, and we were bored (though, actually, when Sara and I had this conversation, The Swede was knee-deep in a ping pong game with one of my agents), and playing darts would have been ten times more fun. The Swede finished his game, and then we all left and went to Hilltop. It was so deliciously dive-y! I loved it. We were so overdressed, but that didn't matter a wink to me. We played a couple games of darts, and then we played pool.
Holy shit.
The Swede is fucking GOOD at pool. I'm not so bad myself, but jesus. It sparked such a fun competitive streak in me. I won the first game we played, he won the second, and I won the third by default because he scratched the eight (with honestly one of the most gorgeous pool shots I've ever seen in person). But he's really, really good. And again, not to be all gushy, but he looked god damn incredible. During the first game we played, I sank a pretty fucking gorgeous shot that made everybody go, "Damn!" or some similar exclamation, and Sara looked at The Swede and goes, "Yeah. I know her." this made me laugh uproariously. I spent most of the evening laughing. It was such a good night.
Sara bailed at about midnight. Stevie and Mike were considering meeting up with us, but Mike fell asleep and Stevie had flex time at 4, so that didn't happen, and The Swede and I left at 12:45 (after playing our final game of pool. The one I won on a technicality). That bar was actually really fucking fantastic. I made generic friends with quite a few people that were there, everybody was so friendly...I may tell Sara we should go back. She very much liked The Swede. We're in the middle of planning a non-office Work Christmas Party, and she told The Swede he needs to come.
It was so fucking cold out last night. It was 0 degrees when we left, and for some reason, my room never ever ever got warm. The Swede and I were balled together the whole night, and when I woke up this morning, his face was damn near frozen. The rest of him was quite warm (because my body is a god damn heater, and I was draped all about him like some sort of climbing vine), but his poor face. Ice.
I told him last night that I had missed him in the time I haven't seen him. And it made me nervous to do so. I don't want to freak him out or scare him off or anything along those lines, because I truly enjoy his company, and I'm very, very happy when he's around. I also don't want to walk down a route of things I say or feel not being reciprocated. That's ugly, and it doesn't feel nice. I have this horrible fear of that, but I also have this horrible need to be honest. When I feel something, I say it. Because I'm a fucking adult, that's why, and that's what adults do. We've been seeing each other for a month, and I'm getting to the point where I'd like to see him more often, and also that starting to actively and genuinely care about him. I'd hate to be alone in that, and the scared, nervous, insecure girl in me wants to just throw in the towel now and save myself the aggravation of finding out that that's just me, and he doesn't feel the same way, and Drea comes out looking foolish again.
INSTEAD, I'm just going to try and tone it down and be sensible and not be a freak, and I'll play this by ear. If he's got that going on, too, well that's fucking aces, and I'll be more than pleased. If not, I won't have said anything ridiculous, and I won't have to worry about budding feels getting trampled over. Everybody wins.
Thursday, December 5, 2013
Let's look through a telescope and fall asleep together at 9:30
I have been burning myself out on studying and exams. I just took my last quiz for philosophy, and I'm taking a small break to write in here before I work on my worldview paper. Which will probably be about ten pages long. I'm not excited about it, but I outlined it pretty solidly, and it'll hopefully go very, very quickly.
I went to the gym with Tom last night, and I hit it pretty fucking hard. I feel great today as a result, and I'm sad I can't go to the gym with him tonight, as well. We were at the gym for an hour and a half, and then we drove around for an hour and talked. He's been having some trouble with his girlfriend, and Tom and I have a few similarities, so I was able to empathize and give him solid opinions. I was really glad that we got to talk to each other. He in turn said some very nice things about me, and I really appreciated it. After I got home, I went over to Stevie's for studying time/paper writing. When I left at ten to two, it was -5 outside, and the wind chill made it feel like it was -16. Fun! I got about three hours of sleep, took Allen to work, and couldn't get back to sleep. I just laid on the couch and stared up at the ceiling, letting hundreds of thoughts run along my head. I may or may not have started counting my insecurities and trying to talk myself out of them. I'm not sure if that worked or not.
I need to finish this paper. I don't want to. I want to just snuggle up and drink tea (successfully drinking tea without sugar. Yay! I feel like such an adult!) and listen to music, or read a book, or watch a movie. Hopefully I can crush this paper in the next hour and a half. If I do, I'm rewarding myself with a long soak in my tub.
In beautiful news, all of the snow in the air made a lovely rainbow around the cloud-covered sun. I tried to take a picture on my phone, but I failed miserably.
Ok, paper. Back to you.
I went to the gym with Tom last night, and I hit it pretty fucking hard. I feel great today as a result, and I'm sad I can't go to the gym with him tonight, as well. We were at the gym for an hour and a half, and then we drove around for an hour and talked. He's been having some trouble with his girlfriend, and Tom and I have a few similarities, so I was able to empathize and give him solid opinions. I was really glad that we got to talk to each other. He in turn said some very nice things about me, and I really appreciated it. After I got home, I went over to Stevie's for studying time/paper writing. When I left at ten to two, it was -5 outside, and the wind chill made it feel like it was -16. Fun! I got about three hours of sleep, took Allen to work, and couldn't get back to sleep. I just laid on the couch and stared up at the ceiling, letting hundreds of thoughts run along my head. I may or may not have started counting my insecurities and trying to talk myself out of them. I'm not sure if that worked or not.
I need to finish this paper. I don't want to. I want to just snuggle up and drink tea (successfully drinking tea without sugar. Yay! I feel like such an adult!) and listen to music, or read a book, or watch a movie. Hopefully I can crush this paper in the next hour and a half. If I do, I'm rewarding myself with a long soak in my tub.
In beautiful news, all of the snow in the air made a lovely rainbow around the cloud-covered sun. I tried to take a picture on my phone, but I failed miserably.
Ok, paper. Back to you.
Wednesday, December 4, 2013
Motherfuckin' booze time
It's almost 9. I have 3 1/2 hours to finish his stupid fucking project, and I am sweating bullets over it. As evidenced by my stopping to write in my blog. But I just needed a tiny break.
This week and next week are going to be so stressful. This'll teach me to pack on a twenty credit course load (for four weeks...I already signed up for the next twenty). I knew finals week was going to be a bummer. Oh, well.
I have to write my philosophy professor and tell him that I'm going to miss class on Friday, because I have to go to my Christmas party for work. I took a picture and showed it to Tom last night and asked him how I looked, and if skin-tight red dresses would be ok for me to wear. Since I want to be kind of impressive looking, going with The Swede and all. He reacted favorably, so there's that.
It's time for me to get back to work. It's so fucking cold outside, and snowy-ish, and I really want to go take pictures.
This week and next week are going to be so stressful. This'll teach me to pack on a twenty credit course load (for four weeks...I already signed up for the next twenty). I knew finals week was going to be a bummer. Oh, well.
I have to write my philosophy professor and tell him that I'm going to miss class on Friday, because I have to go to my Christmas party for work. I took a picture and showed it to Tom last night and asked him how I looked, and if skin-tight red dresses would be ok for me to wear. Since I want to be kind of impressive looking, going with The Swede and all. He reacted favorably, so there's that.
It's time for me to get back to work. It's so fucking cold outside, and snowy-ish, and I really want to go take pictures.
Sunday, December 1, 2013
You're flirting with disaster when you kiss and tell, my love
When music evokes images of something incredibly specific, I kind of fall in love with it.
Allen went on a music spree while I was putting on my makeup yesterday, and he found this:
Holy shit, this song. The end falls apart for me, but it's like, twelve seconds of music lost. That's it. The rest of the song makes me think of reckless, intense sex. I can't get enough of it. I played it for The Swede this morning on the way back from breakfast (I have no idea how I've gone this long without having ever gone to Over Easy. It. Was. Amazing), but he didn't particularly care for it. Which is fine. He did listen to Why?, which delighted me, and we started off the morning with The Eels (yay!!) and tea. I took pictures of him all morning, and left his house after breakfast so he could work on a budget for work, and so I could get some ham and bean soup, because fuck yes. I do have to remember to save him some, because I said I would.
He told me he had missed me last night. I was quite pleased, but a bit taken aback by it. I didn't say anything. My head debated if he meant that he missed me, or missed having sex with me, so I felt it was safer to not say anything back. Regardless of my insecure and residually paranoid inner monologue, I rather missed him legitimately in the duration of not seeing him, and I was sad to leave this morning. I've been sad to leave/see him leave the last couple of times we've been together, especially if one of us is leaving in the super early am.
I have papers to write tonight. This is my second to last week of the semester, so I'm fairly certain I won't have any time to write in here or go off and take pictures for the next week or so. I'll try and steal time to jot a thought or two, since I know I'm wildly fucking riveting and my silly, pointless words will be so sorely missed.
Alright, business. I'm about to fucking shred this paper. In the best way, of course.
As an end note, the sky outside is a warm shade of blue, and it's highlighted with vibrant pink and orange clouds. I wish I were out taking photos. Dammit, GPA. It's time like these that I wish I didn't give a fuck about you.
Allen went on a music spree while I was putting on my makeup yesterday, and he found this:
He told me he had missed me last night. I was quite pleased, but a bit taken aback by it. I didn't say anything. My head debated if he meant that he missed me, or missed having sex with me, so I felt it was safer to not say anything back. Regardless of my insecure and residually paranoid inner monologue, I rather missed him legitimately in the duration of not seeing him, and I was sad to leave this morning. I've been sad to leave/see him leave the last couple of times we've been together, especially if one of us is leaving in the super early am.
I have papers to write tonight. This is my second to last week of the semester, so I'm fairly certain I won't have any time to write in here or go off and take pictures for the next week or so. I'll try and steal time to jot a thought or two, since I know I'm wildly fucking riveting and my silly, pointless words will be so sorely missed.
Alright, business. I'm about to fucking shred this paper. In the best way, of course.
As an end note, the sky outside is a warm shade of blue, and it's highlighted with vibrant pink and orange clouds. I wish I were out taking photos. Dammit, GPA. It's time like these that I wish I didn't give a fuck about you.
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