Welcome to the Internet: NOLA Full Day Three

 True story: I spent a solid little hunk of our third full day here writing the blog about our second full day here. And as I write this, it's the morning of our fourth full day here, and we only have two more full days here. Yesterday was fairly uneventful, though still a lovely day, so this recap shouldn't take too terribly long. 

Back when we were still planning this trip, we were trying to figure out if we wanted to stop at the restaurants we went to the first time, or if we wanted to go to new places and be freshly wowed (or newly disappointed). We landed on a mix of both, because there were definitely some places we wanted to stop at again. Nola Po' Boys, Cafe Envie, I still want to take Laurel to Killer Po Boys...and of course, we wanted to take Laurel for a fancy breakfast at Brennan's, because we so enjoyed everything about Brennan's when we went. So we made a reservation a couple of months ago for Saturday the 19th. 

And...you guys...Brennan's didn't disappoint. 

I don't usually do coffee if I'm not in a four minute radius of my home, because coffee runs through me with the quickness, and we had quite the walk back to the hotel, but I couldn't not get some chicory coffee, French pressed, of course. There is something so delightful about leisurely sipping a coffee during your breakfast. 

Derek got the croque madame, and honestly...look at that glorious tower. And if that doesn't impress you, maybe the plate will. If I had had a purse large enough, I would have shoved that plate in my purse, and used only that plate at home. I fucking LOVE that plate. It is tremendous. Derek reports that it was as delicious as it looks. He gives it a 10/10. 

We decided to get turtle soup, because we so loved it when we tried it at Commander's Palace all those years ago (she said, wistfully, as though it's been decades). My opinion? Commander's Palace does a far far FAR superior soup. Laurel's opinion? "I did not like it. It was too tomato-y, and it tasted kinda sour." Derek's opinion? "It had a very tomato-y thinness to it, which in and of itself wasn't bad, it was like a good flavor, seasoned flavor spice, whatever, you know, good tasting tomato soup, but it just tasted like fancy tomato soup out of a can. And again, it just kept me thinking about and wanting Commander's Palace version, which was rich and meaty." Verbatim. My less than informed opinion? The turtle soup was just...it tasted like burnt spices. And now we know where NOT to get turtle soup. 

Laurel got the steak and eggs, complete with fancy knife to sneak attack your enemies ribs. Of her breakfast, Laurel reports that, "It was good. I'm glad it came with hashbrowns. 8/10." Derek asked her what would have made it a ten, and she said the steak tasted kinda wacky. She is a generous judge, as she is still giving it an 8, so the wacky tasting steak only cost Brennan's two points. 

And then, my meal. Now, being keto, and preferring to eat as little meat as possible when I travel (sometimes it can't be helped, because vegan AND keto is very, very, VERY tricky to come by. Kinda gotta pick one and stick with it, and I have to choose keto), my options are pretty fucking limited, and even when I find something I can mostly eat, I  have to alter it in some way. Yesterday's breakfast at Brennan's was no exception, but I didn't really have to alter much. 

Holy fooding fuck. That gorgeous little bastard of a meal is Brennan's Eggs Sardou. The menu describes it as crispy artichokes, parmesan creamed spinach, and choron sauce. I didn't know the eggs were going to be poached, as it didn't describe how the eggs were cooked, and I also didn't know what a choron sauce was. So I had to look it up. I was happy to discover it is hollandaise, but with tomato puree. Pretty much everything was stuff I could eat! The crispy artichokes I kind of thought would be like crispy onions. I did not expect the perfectly breaded hockey pucks of delicious artichokey goodness, though I should have. 

LOOK. AT. THAT. EGG.

That is the most perfectly poached egg I have ever seen in all of my days. And look at that artichoke. I can almost believe that it didn't come from a can; that Brennan's got me that delicious artichoke bottom from a fresh artichoke that they prepared themselves. Full disclosure, I did have to take the breading off of the artichoke, because even with walking 15k+ steps a day, I'm not trying to be ridiculous (or make myself sick), but the meal was still delicious.

I got a side of bacon, but it never came, and I forgot about it. Laurel told our busser that it was never brought out to us (Derek and I gently taught her that you tell your SERVER that, not the busser. She looked a little embarrassed, but like, none percent people are aware of that, and everybody has to learn someway, somehow. That was how Laurel learned). It was a larger portion than I was expecting:

My side of bacon turned into a family style side of bacon, as that is a fuck ton of bacon. It was DELICIOUS. My brain tasted sugar on it, so I only ate one piece. Derek said it only tasted like smoke and meat, but the damage was done. I tasted sugar, and there was no going back for my brain.

Now, for the uninitiated, Brennan's is famous for creating Bananas Foster. I wanted to know if this was ACTUALLY the case, so I did a it of research and it turn out, it's a bit more nuanced than a simple yes or no. Owen Brennan opened a restaurant called Owen Brennan's French and Creole Restaurant, and I guess that was tooo much of a mouthful for locals, so it became known instead as Vieux Carre (that's French Quarter). Ella Brennan (Owen's sister), alongside Vieux Carre's chef Paul Blange, created a modified version of a dish that Ella and Owen's mother used to make when they were growing up, and thus Bananas Foster was born. A bit of trivia I did not know: back in the day, New Orleans was a huge port for imported bananas from South America. It isn't a fact that floors me by any means. New Orleans was right on the water, and ships were constantly coming in and out of the area (this was actually a huge reason that yellow fever hit here so hard. All of the incoming people brought it with them), so of course they were where people would import goods from directly below the gulf. So there was a solid influx of bananas into the city, and Owen Brennan was very good friends with chairman of the crime commission of New Orleans at the time, Richard Foster. I'm not gonna lie, that sounds like maybe some sinister shit was passing through Brennan's. Why not call it Bananas Brennans? Or just Bananas en flambe? Either Brennan owed his crime commissioner friend a favor (and somehow, naming a banana dish after him did the trick), or they were lovers. And I am just fine with either scenario, but you cannot look me in the face and tell me that it was a simple homage to a buddy that gave Bananas Foster its name. 

Now, Vieux Carre survived for a few years after the invention of Bananas Foster, and while it was thriving, the second name...perhaps it was ALSO too much of a mouthful at two words... ALSO didn't take. Vieux Carre thus became Brennan's, and thankfully the one word name has rooted itself permanently into the New Orleans forever zeitgeist. 

Anyway, we didn't get bananas foster the first time we went to Brennan's. Derek didn't want to miss out on the opportunity a second time. We asked Laurel if she liked bananas, and she said...no. No? How can you not like bananas? They are the perfect creamy treat! Derek pushed past that and ordered it, anyway. And it was a fun presentation, prepared tableside. I took video, but the wifi at the hotel is too weak for the videos to load. I tried to upload them last night, and after three hours, all three videos failed. I'll try when I get home. 

Laurel did end up eating her bananas foster. I mean, how can you not??

Look how delicious that looks! It smelled amazing. Derek said it was fantastic, even Laurel seemed to like it.

After that huge meal, we made our way back to the hotel to change clothes. I want to mention that I had spent a couple of hours on my hair and makeup, and I had planned this outfit for MONTHS. From the neck down, I looked fucking ADORABLE. But the literal second I stepped outside, the humidity trapped itself in my hair and fluffed me out like my hair was its new ecosystem. It ruined my entire look, and I was FURIOUS.

Flowy off the shoulder top with embroidered flowers? CUTE. Tight as fuck micro shorts? CUTE. 

Betsy Johnson heels from three years ago that took me forever to fucking find? PERFECTION. 

But my hair is about the size of Texas, and it didn't matter how nice my face looked, or how great my outfit was...I also had a perfect yellow clutch with big, huge, blue stones and blue danglies...I am literally too lazy to take a photo of it and send it to myself and post it in here, so I found a picture of it online:

My hair ruined EVERYTHING, and I looked like shit, and I was upset. 

So we came back and changed clothes. I put my hair back and felt much better about my overall appearance, I put on sneakers, because walking miles in those heels sucked a whole fucking bunch (but they were worth the walk to and from Brennan's), and Derek took a nap. A two and a half hours long nap. 

After his nap, we walked down to Jackson Square, with a stop off at Marie Laveau's House of Voodoo. Laurel really wanted to stop there, and Rhyann seemed interested in it when I mentioned it to her, so while Derek and I normally stay away from silly tchotchke shops that ensnare tourists, I didn't mind making an exception for the girls. Alex didn't express a desire for anything in there, so I didn't look for anything for her. After twenty minutes of milling around, Laurel and I left with a book and an alligator claw for Rhyann, a necklace for Laurel, and a bone cat and deck of Mucha Tarot cards for me. At a whopping 100 fucking dollars spent there. Yikes. But we built in about 500 for trinket purchases, so it isn't all that bad. I think we're just going to get shirts for the three of us, and the girls that aren't with us, and that's about it for our trinkety things. That won't be 400 bucks, so a big splurge isn't so bad. Even though...the necklace Laurel got was 40 bucks. And it was literally a small little key on a string with some beads. Holy fuck, tourism prices. My tarot deck was cheaper. My porcelain, hand painted, bone cat was cheaper. Eesh. I also want to maybe find another NOLA mug, because Derek usually uses the one we got last time, but I also love that mug.

After leaving Marie Laveau's House of Steep Prices, we wandered the art walls of Jackson Square, and then stopped to get Laurel and I a general tarot card reading. Mine was not so great, but Laurel rated hers a 10/10. She was VERY impressed, so one of us got our money's worth! There was a fantastic mermaid painting that I still, as of the next day, can't get out of my mind, and I think if I see it again, I might just buy it. I really loved it. We wandered around the river walk, and then went to the French  Market for a crawfish boil that Derek and I have been wanting since we left New Orleans last time. Laurel, however, does not like seafood or mud bugs, and when I told her that if she couldn't find anything too eat that she wanted, we'd go somewhere else we could all eat, she said we should find somewhere else we could all eat. Too easy. 

We wound up at The Rib Room in the Omni, and it was a GORGEOUS setting. They sat us in front of the window so we had a perfect view of the street (which pleased us enormously, as we had the best vantage for the wedding parade that passed by before our appetizers arrived) , and the restaurant was pretty fucking empty. 

Lovely!

I figured, this restaurant being in The Omni, and the ambience being as lovely as it was, that the food was going t be...if not outstanding, at least very delicious. 

It was inconsistent. 

I got the pan seared edamame appetizer, and that was truly truly truly outrageous. 

I don't even like capers, but the capers in the truffle butter really did something special to the edamame, and the pecorino gave the perfect bitey finish. Absolutely tremendous. 

Laurel got the filet (I didn't get a picture of her, she was taking a picture when I tried and then I forgot to circle back when I was done taking a photo of me and Derek's) with pureed potatoes. 

Derek got the rib eye with some sort of rub on it, with sweet potato fries. He ordered his medium rare, they brought it out medium well, but he didn't even care. He loved it, and ate almost all of it. He ordered the collard greens, which our waitress promised us would be spicy. 

And I ordered the chargrilled prime rib with onion, and creamed spinach. 

My prime rib was salty, but the outside was DELICIOUS (the only delicious part, though. The rest of it was meh). I was eating my prime rib, when the captain came over, reached over my plate, and his sleeve rubbed all over my meat. I couldn't eat anymore, I was too grossed out. This compounded my grief from our server's sleeve wiping itself all over my water glass, and I didn't want to ask her to bring me another glass, so I just didn't drink anymore water. So my mouth was a desert of delicious flavor, and I really needed something to drink, so I opted for the warm water in my camera bag. 

I didn't like the creamed spinach, either. It was just...it tasted like spiced dirt. I hated it. Derek LOVED them, so he traded me for his collard greens. And I am here to report to you that holy fuck, their collard greens are AMAZING. But they tasted sweet to me. And my brain could only eat four bites before I started to get freaked out, and then I couldn't eat anymore. And I was GUTTED. They weren't spicy at all, but they were very flavorful, and amazing, and I could have eaten an entire gallon of them if I felt sure there was no sugar. But I wasn't sure, so I didn't eat anymore. 

And after that, we just...came back to the hotel and chilled out. It was a long walk back, and we were all kind of drained. Well, except Derek. He wanted to go to Frenchman Street and photograph the musicians. I told him to go, but he didn't want to. 

And then my guts seized up. I forced Derek to take Laurel to Target to get better walking shoes for herself, and to get me some long jammy pants, and the second they left, I had the worst gut pains and poo. Something I ate for sure had sugar in it, and I felt ill for a long time. I legit pooped for like, thirty minutes, and all of it was exceptionally painful, and I felt sick as shit. Just like Maui. 

Ugh. 

But that was our day! And I'm writing this at noon on full day four, which I will write about later. I have to get dressed now so we can go about our day. Gotta do stuff so I can write about it later!