Saturday was Honolulu Pride Day. Gabriel is in GSA (Gay-Straight Alliance) at school, and they marched in the parade. But I will never ever ever give up the chance to show up for Pride, and Derek had never been, so after we dropped Gabriel off with his teacher, Derek and I made our way down to Honolulu to get a good spot for both viewing the parade, and photographing it. Because duh. I would be a fucking moron to not photograph people being fucking happy and themselves and openly expressing their love that maybe they have to hide from other people. Everybody gets all gussied up, and covered in glitter, and everybody is smiling and fucking happy and like...who DOESN'T want pictures of that? I am really excited to post all of my favorite pictures from Pride, so those are going to come first, and then I'm going to post my least favorite pictures from Pride, and I'm going to shoot off at the mouth about the commodification of allyship and how much it pisses me the fucking fuck off.
But first, the good stuff!!!
As a preface, there was a really fucking great turn out to Pride, but we were, technically, at the very beginning of the parade route, so we were miles away from where the festival was, and we were way off the streets, so the people gathering in our area were not as large in number as they were once you turned onto the actual street the route took. The crowd looks a little meager where we are, but it isn't because Honolulu didn't turn the fuck up for Pride. Derek and I just wanted premium vantage for photos. And we kind of missed it, even though we were the first people to see everything. I also needed to bring my wide for the shots I was going for the most, but I only brought one lens: my walking lens. My 24-105 L which...I'm not going to lie to you...it's a great fucking lens. But it wasn't my 16-35, and that was what I wanted. I chose...poorly.
She gave me free mom hugs, and I love her.
There's my baby!!!!!
Handing out leis, I love it!!!!!
Anybody who looks at this picture and thinks it's wrong needs to fucking exit themselves from such negative thinking and learn to love love in every form it takes.
BAYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYBEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE! This gorgeous mother fucker saw me with my camera and twirled all the way at me, then sashayed away like the baddest bitch in town, and I fucking loved every god damn second of it.
EXCUSE ME, but whose amazing child is this??????
I fucking loved the parade. I had so much fun, I'm so glad I got to go to Derek's first pride parade with him, and I wish we could have gone to the festival, but Gabriel is way too young and we would have wanted to drink way too much and stay way too long. So we went home.
So, regarding the businesses that had their marching sections in the parade, I want to make sure that I say first that the LGBTQIA community needs to know there are businesses out there that have their back, and support them, and that they don't discriminate in the workplace, or clientele. Getting that word out is important. Any marginalized community needs to fucking know where their safe spaces are, who they're safe with, and where they can be themselves without having to hide anything. I get it, that isn't my point here. I still want these businesses to show the fuck up and support the LGBTQIA community. All communities and causes that need support, of course, but I'm narrowing my focus because I was just at the parade and that's where my bone is. A lot of these companies are monetary supporters of Pride, a lot of these companies have great diversity programs that include training for all of their staff. I support that. I support their support.
What I have a problem with is how slimily commodified that support feels at Pride. I legitimately have a hard time discerning if the big signs announcing that the company serves with pride, or flies with pride, or all routes lead to love, or whatever the fuck they slogan...I don't know whose benefit that's for, but it feels to me like it's for theirs. That it isn't about pride, it's about marketing. And that diversity and inclusion is at best the line before the bottom line. Maybe I'm deeply fucking cynical, maybe I remember too much about marketing from way back when, when I was a business major. Maybe I see things like that and think about how almost all of my friends are members of the queer community, and I don't like how they've become an advertising campaign, maybe I'm just way the fuck off base and this is the most genuine form of showing support, and there is no other way to let a beautiful community know you are their safe bank than hiring a huge fucking truck and big ass balloon floats and announcing your pride and aloha since 1920 whatever. It's been awhile since marketing, and even then HR was my focus and marketing was fucking boring. There's probably a lot that I missed about how to get messaging across in an authentic way, without showboating just to do it so everybody remembers your brand, that is solely about parade floats. I'm all psychology now, and business isn't my forte.
It just feels really fucking gross to me. Like...really gross. I can't make it clear enough that I WANT these businesses to support the community. Not just the LGBTQIA community, but other super fucking important social justice communities. I want businesses to publicly support BLM, the legalization of sex work and its recognition as valid, honest work (decriminalization is not the fucking same, cut the shit), get behind immigrants and refugees, be greener and more thoughtful about how your business affects the planet because we ALL fucking live here and we all deserve clean water, support needle exchange programs, support education and teachers and the desegration of the education system, support getting religion out of fucking EVERYTHING in the public sector. Stand the fuck up for everyone who needs standing up for, and do it every god damn day, not just when you've got eyes on you.
That's where my issue lies. I get that these companies are doing good work, I really really REALLY fucking do. And their work matters, it's important, it makes people feel seen and valid and loved and accepted and everybody, no matter who they fuck or how they dress or what they've got going on under their clothes, deserves to feel that, know that, and understand that the places they frequent prove that to them every fucking day. I do NOT want to belittle the fact that companies are validating people. Not JUST because 95% of my friend group is a member of that very community, but because we all deserve to be treated equally. It just feels so god damn self serving to announce your work with like...an airplane float and inflated airplane hats (TAKE BETTER FUCKING CARE OF THE ENVIRONMENT THE PEOPLE YOU SUPPORT LIVE IN, GOD DAMMIT!!!!! BE CONSIDERATE OF ALL OF US WHEN YOU ADVERTISE WITH PLASTIC!!!! FUUUUUUUUCCCCCCCCCCCCCKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKK!), because as an outside observer, I do not feel like you are best representing the community, I feel like you are only representing yourself and if you can scream "PRIDE!" while you're doing that, then you win twice. I fucking hate it, it's gross, and I really fucking wish I didn't feel that way, because it puts a huge god damn damper on my gay day.
I don['t have a solution for how to walk that line, either. I want these companies to sponsor and show up, but like....in a way that really serves the community they're supporting, not their bottom line. Car dealerships trotting out their cars, but with pride flags on them? UGH. CAN WE FUCKING NOT. Stickers with your logo, but a pride flag? CAN WE FUCKING NOT.
I want to end this by saying that I understand there is lots of room for critique in my opinion here, and as I am not really a member of the LGBTQIA community, my opinion may be flagrantly repugnant and I should absolutely shut this shit down. I am not trying to speak on behalf of the queer community. I am not a representative, this is just how I feel as a bystander. TO ME, this feels gross. To ME. And maybe me only. I also understand that part of my business model is to donate money to groups that support causes that are related to the types of shoots I do. I want to make sure that's known, but I grapple with shit like that, too. Because I understand that it's just good marketing to let people know I care about things and that their hiring me doesn't just give ME money, but supports communities that need it, but I also understand that the BEST thing I can do, right now in the place that I'm in with the resources I have, is put money into the things I believe need my support. I've thought about only writing a blurb about doing this on my website. Or about writing a bit in fine print at the very bottom of each webpage about how shoots like these donate to X group that benefits X thing. I've also thought about not announcing it at ALL and just doing the god damn thing, and I think that's most in line with the gripe I laid out here. I don't need to announce myself as a supporter of causes, I can just...you know...fucking support them. I can show the fuck up when they need me to show up, I can vocalize when it's beneficial to THEM and not ME, and I can always opt to only ever vocalize and support on behalf of myself rather than on behalf of my business. Do I want people to know I care about them and include them and see them as equal and validate them and all of that? Fuck yeah I do! Is it really good marketing to announce that shit as a business? It really is. Because I want to include the people who have my beliefs, and I don't want to include the people who disavow inclusivity of any kid, or kindness to humans from any walk of life. What better way to do that than by using causes as a beacon?
But at the end of the day, I feel gross about that. I've neglected writing about it on my website because it makes me feel slimy inside. I've been wrestling with it for weeks and weeks, and yesterday at Pride I felt pretty resolute in not using my beliefs as a marketing tool. If my work (and treatment of my clients) doesn't speak for itself, then I don't deserve the business of ANY community. No matter what parades I attend, or what causes I throw money at, or how I brand myself.
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