I love going to the movies by myself because I don't have anybody to make commentary to, so I focus better. I have not been to a horror movie by myself yet, so tonight is a solid first for me. I'm pretty fucking excited to go see a horror movie alone, because I'm curious to see if my brain will be any more overeager to freak me the fuck out as it would be if I were with Derek (or Allen, who used to be my horror movie buddy). I'll report back.
I have FINALLY cleaned out my Lightroom camera roll, and I'm left with just a few more than 4000 photos left. It took me almost a year to clean out almost TWENTY NINE THOUSAND PHOTOS, which is no small feat, because I had to make sure I wasn't getting rid of things that would be any good later down the line. Now that that's done, I can finally finally FINALLY focus my attention on doing UTD edits on the photos I want for the website. This website rebuild will have taken two years by the time it's done (my goal is to be finished by the time Derek gets back, and I am positive I'll be done by then). I culled photos from shoots, and I have a few pages of photos that I need to edit and then upload so our website designer has all of them. Check it:
That might not seem that bad. It's just four pieces of paper. Some of those photos won't take more than 15 minutes (and some will be as fast as five minutes or less), but some of those photos will take an hour, at least, so it's a fucking LOT of work. Once I'm done with that, I just have to finish writing copy for the website, and designing the remainder of the pages. I'm fucking exhausted. I REALLY fucking want like, five mermaid shoots to put up there, but unfortunately, I don't have any grabs on that shit. Well. Maybe once the site is up.
I also wanted to discuss that I'm a little bit irked by something. Well, two things. Derek has been after me to record myself reading my blogs, so I thought I'd do that for him to have something to listen to while he was out at sea with nothing to do. It took me HOURS. My voice is still kinda scratchy and hoarse from it. He says he listened to them while he was sailing to Kwajalein, but he told me that he had lots of things he wanted to talk to me about, and it made him sad that he couldn't talk to me while he was listening to them. So I was like, oh, ok, well, we can talk now, what did you want to talk about? And he said he didn't remember, he should have taken notes.
Now.
I do not blog just for the fucking shit of it. It's great to blog, yes, but I do it for the conversational aspect. I've already briefly mentioned how much it hurts my feelings that not even my friends can be bothered to read my blog, and it's true. I know I get views, because I watch them come in, and sometimes it gets under my skin that I can get lots of views on a blog, but zero commentary. I mean, I'm not angling for any ol' interaction. Like someone saying "fuck you, cunto" wouldn't please me, but even something small like, "cool" or "hey" would be nice. This is something I've griped to Derek about a lot. That I just want to know who's reading my blog, and I want to be engaged just a little. So it's like, triply hurtful that he just couldn't remember any of the things he wanted to chat with me about. Particularly because one or two of the things I threw in there were kind of heavy subject matter, and I was hoping he'd have SOME kind of fucking something to say. I'm annoyed and slightly hurt he didn't. More than slightly hurt, I suppose. Especially if he's going to say that it made him sad he couldn't talk to me because of the things I was reading. Binch, you can't make a mental note? This was all in the last 24 hours. He had more to say about his viewing of Ghost in the Shell than he did about my blog material.
I don't think I'll be recording any more of them. If he's interested in my blog, he can come read it like a fucking normal person that just reads my blog and then bounces without anything to say, probably because it's all just actually random page views and nobody is ACTUALLY reading my blog. :(
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