It appears that getting older is just discovering new muscles in your body because they suddenly hurt every day until you die.
Boudoir shoot went as well as could be expected. Photographer was a fuckin' DREAM, but I have more hang ups than I thought I did, and the entire session was doing my best to not cry noticeably, and then making sure my quiet sob sessions when I changed didn't ruin my make up. Thankfully, I'm a fucking EXPERT at crying in front of people without them noticing, so I suppose I have that going for me.
What I don't have going for me is my GIGANTIC SCHNOZZ:
I have some fucking nerve expecting people to hire me to take flattering photos of them when I can't even keep my own god damn nose under control in a selfie. FUCK, I look tired. Tired with a big nose.
I had a few shoots two weeks ago, and I just cannot bring myself to sit and edit the photos. I'm slacking at school, I'm slacking at work, and I really just want to play Ori and the Blind Forest. The only thing I'm NOT slacking on is working out three times a day which...I mean...there are definitely more effective uses of my time. But. I've got that end of school malaise going on where I just don't give a fuck about anything. Or it's severe depression. Or Both! Life is fun that way.
Sub three months until we move to Hawaii, and we're starting to whittle our possessions down and sell things. Derek has been VERY successful at this. Me...not so much. Because I haven't even gotten started inventorying the shit I want to get rid of, which means I haven't taken any photos, which means I haven't listed anything. Meanwhile, my worker bee husband keeps messaging me with new things he's sold and it makes me feel like an unproductive asshole....for the two seconds I spend on the conversation. Then I just get back to whatever it is I'm not doing, and I forget about it.
In a move that is distinctly unlike me, I've opted to go the natural supplement route to try and get my PCOS under fucking control. Birth control sounds so fucking stupid, for several reasons. One, all of my experiences with birth control are miserable ones. Two, while I get that it's the hormones, my brain cannot wrap itself around the idea of taking birth control when I am so fucking incapable of getting knocked up. Which...I mean...thank fucking god. I don't need any of that baby nonsense in my life. Anyway, it seems far cooler to take eighteen natural supplements a day, hoping like hell they all work and don't turn me into The Fly or some shit, instead of taking one birth control pill. I'm not so sure about my brain sometimes.
Fuck. I have to get going on finishing my website. Am I REALLY this fucking into procrastination? Yes. Yes, I am.
But who wouldn't want to procrastinate when there's this kind of shit to listen to??
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