Are you a fan of delicious flavor?

Well, the good thing about not having class tonight is it gives me an extra week to try and figure out exactly what I'm doing. The bad news is, I couldn't nab a tutor, and I couldn't sit with my professor and ask him what the actual fuck is going on with my homework.  The most frustrating thing is I feel like I SHOULD be getting this. I look at it, and my brain tells me I understand for a fleeting moment, and then I try to do a problem and it all wooshes right out of my head, and I have to fight the urge to feed my book to a paper shredder.

I've decided to focus on my accounting homework for now, because that's twenty thousand times simpler for my poor, addled brain. I have an essay response question to do for English, and some reading to do, but that can wait.

I had a conversation with my dad today on my way home from getting my nails done (they do look lovely), and I told him that I thankfully have two classes that I don't even have to try in, which makes my actual courseload so much easier. I told him about my paper being chosen last semester, and how my professor asked me to become an English tutor, and how I barely even tried and I still had the highest grade in my class. My dad said I should consider changing my major, and I told him that it'd be a useless degree for me, unless I decide to teach, and honestly I'd rather be shot than have to trudge through shitty paper after shitty paper. It'd be very similar to Bad Teacher...I'd just be scrawling ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME in red ink. Everywhere.

My very, very, very loved rat died on Wednesday morning. I went to let my boys out, and Brisby was huddled in the corner. Brisby was always SO excited to see me, and he'd run up to the cage door and wait patiently for me to open it up, and then he'd hop right on my shoulder and nuzzle me. He didn't even move when he saw me, so I knew something was wrong. I scooped him up very carefully, and left Andes and Bullet in their house. Brisby and I went and sat on the couch together, and I petted him and loved on him, and bawled my fucking ass off. He kept trying to crawl off of me, and I figured he was trying to find a private place to die. I put him in the hood of my hoodie (that was one of his favorite places to hang out), grabbed a box, and put a shirt of mine in it. I placed him in there very carefully, and laid down on the couch with my head right next to the box. I sang to him and told him I loved him very much. I heard him thrash about, and then he did his best to run out of the box and into my lap, but he couldn't make it on his own, he fell, I grabbed him up, and then he died. I'm fairly convinced he had a stroke. It wrecked my day. He was my very first rat, and my favorite little buddy. I buried him with Bunny. Last night, when I was loving on Andes and Bullet (who both seem very out of sorts), I noticed a big lump in Bullet's throat. When it rains it fucking pours. I'll have to take him to the vet next week, and I won't be surprised if that visit ends with having to put him down.

In better news, and speaking of next week, I have an insanely busy schedule. Monday and Tuesday is work and school, Wednesday is my Business HRM conference then school, Thursday and Friday is school, and then Saturday and Sunday is no work, but hospice orientation.

We've gotten about five inches of snow already. Possibly more. I don't have a good eye for this sort of thing.

You're in fucking trouble, then.

I'm already annoyed with my macro homework. "Potatoes cost Janice $1.00 per pound. Janice has $5.00 to spend. If Janice decides that the first pound is worth 1.50, the second pound is worth 1.14, the third pound is worth 1.05, and all subsequent pounds are worth .30, how many pounds of potatoes will she purchase?" Five. Janice will purchase five pounds of potatoes, because you have to buy them at cost, you dopey slut. You don't get seven pounds. I'm not even sorry about it. Janice is why farmers need government subsidies, stop being selfish and putting farms in crisis. No marginal cost bullshit on your potatoes, Janice. Use coupons and leave the normative economics at home. I actually side-noted that on my homework (sans swearing, of course), because my macro professor is a delight and he thinks I'm hilarious. 

I have four hours of class tonight. Yikes. But it's Astronomy, so it could be worse. Besides, it's very likely that I'll finish my lab before everybody else and leave early, as per my usual. The girl that sits next to me very wisely buddied up with me and asked to be my lab partner, so she's been finishing her labs early, as well. 

Stevie and I are going to hot tub it up tonight. I'm pretty jazzed about it. I may use her exercise room before we do, though. I'm really fucking excited for the weather to be warm so I can run again. Every time I've tried to run since I broke my toe, it fucking kills me. And not because it's not healed...it is. But the cold. The cold is the worst. Come on, warmer evenings! I miss you. I see people running in the freezing cold with their jogging shorts and hoodies, and I think to myself, "Nah. Fuck that. I'd rather be chubby in the winter. It's natural." I do miss running, though. Weird. 

This morning would have been a fantastic time to go out shooting. The sky put itself in HDR, and everything looked stunning. I was bummed out that I didn't have my camera on me to take a quick drive through GoG after I got my Starbucks. I just couldn't justify going home and getting it, because I knew exactly what would happen: I'd spend HOURS out taking photos. And then I wouldn't be getting so much done. You know, like blogging. Though I have gotten a lot of homework done today.

I do need to get back to it, however. Yuck.

Jane, you ignorant slut.

One of my favorite things in the world is when people tell me that I should be a writer. I love when people engage in my stories and think I'm interesting. One of the new agents here had a client bail on her, so she hung out with me for about 45 minutes. We swapped stories, and I got my favorite compliment. It made my day.

I got a good deal of painting done last night. I had a few drinks, listened to music, and chatted with Allen. I also hung out with Stevie, who's having her own personal crisis. I don't know what to do or say, except hope that my being there is enough.

I had a small crisis of faith in myself this morning, but I'm better now.

I have a fantastic idea for a short story, but I want to iron it out in my head before I start writing it. Perhaps I'll do that tonight after finishing the rest of my homework and hanging out with Stevie (unless she decides to take care of her issue this evening, in which case I'll get a jump start on the creative process).

Allen is having an issue, as well. My poor friends. He had a far more interesting night than I did last night, but I have lost my interesting in blogging for the moment. Maybe later. Gossip never sleeps.

Come and lay your bones on my alabaster stones

First week down, fifteen more to go.

Let's do a small recap!

Monday: DISASTROUS. My professor is missing his sense of humor and his hand. Mike made chums with everybody, I spoke with a few people, and that was that.
Tuesday: I was fairly impressive during class. My professor is decent enough, but he's not as engaging or as pumped about astronomy as a girl like me would hope for. Oh, well. It could be worse.
Wednesday: My accounting professor said he's going to separate me and Mike because we're having more fun than everybody else. Mike said no, we're thirty year olds, and we'll be just fine. We went over the different positions that you could hold as an accountant. When Mike started whistling the X-Files theme song, I said, "The Tax Files: The funds are out there." And Mike high-fived me, and my professor told me I'm not very funny. He doesn't like me very much, I don't think.
Thursday: I finished my lab an hour before everybody else did, and on top of that, I was the only one that finished my lab. Nailed it! So I got to leave class early. I came home, Allen and I had general tso chicken that I made from scratch...ish...and then I drank WAY too fucking much way too fucking fast.
Today: My long day. My English professor is...well...I'm not sure yet. I was the first to finish my diagnostic, though, so I got to go home early AGAIN. Yay! My macro professor is fucking fun. He's a ridiculous old man that likes to joke and, while macro may be slightly difficult for me, I am fairly sure I'm going to enjoy this class immensely. I got very chummy with the fellow sitting next to me, so at the very least, there's that.

I came home tonight and got right on my accounting homework. We have two problems. The first one took me two hours. The second one is almost done, it's only taken forty-five minutes, but I'm fucking frustrated with it, and I need a break. Once I'm done with this, though, I have a week to read two chapters for accounting, and three chapters for macro. That's a pretty easy load, so I feel exceptionally good about my first week.

I really am going to have to apply myself this semester, though. As it stands, I have a total of ten papers to write, 15 exams, 45 quizzes....yikes. No skating by this time. I'd really like better than a 3.5 at the end of this. That would look fantastic with my thirty finished credits. I'm rocking it out as well as I can.

They'll dance inside themselves without you...Now with an edit!

Every once and awhile, I go a little bit crazy with the link posting. But to repeat an earlier entry (where I went a little crazy with the link posting), it's all about sharing that joy.

Today, I'm going to share quite a few things. Ready? Onward! Tallyho! Allonsy! Other exclamations that mean let's fucking go!

If you pay attention, you know that Carl Sagan is one of my absolute heroes. I am very interested in science and space, but I'm not smart enough to always get what my boy NDGT is throwing down, knowledge-wise. The brilliance of Carl Sagan is that he was...well...brilliant, but he knew how to really share that intelligence in a digestible way for people like me. He made everything interesting and relatable, and he spoke about all things with reverence and humility.

How perilous our infancy

I had never heard or read this before, but it's tremendous. He was such a gifted man, and I am so pleased that the world is still taken with him after all this time. I'm listening to the rest of the Sagan Series now, and I am so deliciously in love with it.

Another favorite of mine is Richard Feynman. I heard a quote of his from the amazing, fantastic Symphony of Science series, and at that time, I had no idea who he was. As luck would have it, I was bin rummaging at Barnes and Noble (I miss you still, Borders!) the very next day, and I spotted his book, The Pleasure of Finding Things Out, marked down to five dollars. So I grabbed it, and I am so glad I did. I've read the book twice, and I've read all about Richard Feynman. I've listened to his interviews, and he was filled with such an unmatched happily inquisitive spark. It radiates in his words, in his voice, in his presence. I'm smitten with him. you should be, too.

Mother Nature is never going to let us relax

Beauty spans everything. It's not just the aesthetic that we see. It's deeper than that. Your endless fascination with how things work, and how they're put together and the singularity of their parts when they're deconstructed...that's beauty. That's love. That's art. And it's definitely something to live for. Fuck the classic poets and their shortsightedness. They're not wrong, but they're not right, either.

Holy shit, our home is so god damn incredible.

There isn't enough time. Not enough time to see even a fraction of the everything I want to experience. Well, I mean, obviously a fraction, because logically it can. But that fraction is so minuscule as to not even count.

This is my new favorite place to hang out. 

Thanks, Stumble! I still love you, you beautiful, sometimes fucking horrifying mishmash of the internet.

I could spend all of my minutes watching these, but the result would be a pinterest-fail level attempt of trying everything, then...you know..burning my house down.

Science is fucking cool. So. Fucking. COOL.

I'm debating on becoming a member.

I've never really paid for a membership to anything before. Not to my knowledge, anyway. We'll see. I want to make sure if I purchase a subscription, I'd be able to take full advantage of it.

I think this is enough for now. It's enough knowledge and good stuff to fill you up for at least a few hours.

Because this is so fucking adorable.

The bunnies, oh my god I literally can't right now. There are two of them on there that I can say with 100% positivity aren't fails, but that's ok. Also, number 44 is pretty much my favorite animal gif of all time. I giggle pretty fucking hard every time I see it. You're welcome.

Dissolved girl

I have a new food obsession:

Siopao.

Allen has been telling me for ages how much he loves it, and it sounded decent enough, I just didn't particularly care to find out. It just sounded like a basic dumpling type deal. I have never been more wrong in my life (I also never use hyperbole as a writing tool).

I bought myself some more red bean buns when I was at the Asian Market, and I saw a bag of bbq pork siopao, so I figured I'd buy some for my best ever buddy. He was pretty fucking delighted, obvy. We watched Religulous last night (I did end up bailing on both shindigs, and I felt like a shitbag for it), and he made himself some siopao. They were far larger than I expected, but they smelled amazing. Uh-mah-zing. I asked him for a bite, and then my mouth tasted heaven. I asked him to make me one, and I didn't want to stop eating it. I was so sad when I finished it. I made myself another one for breakfast. I don't even care about my shitty red bean buns now, I just want siopao.

I think I'm going to buy a bamboo steamer and learn how to make them from scratch. That was disastrous syntax, but I don't even care (all that much).

I meant to post my pictures last night, but I just...didn't. I didn't want to do much of anything but be a loaf all night. Which is precisely what I did, and it was great.

Since school starts tomorrow, I only have tonight to really be lazy before my life goes apeshit again, and I barely have time for anything. I'm both dreading this, and extremely, overwhelmingly excited. I've missed being in class, and I haven't really been productive because I've been sort of confused about how to allocate all of my free time. I won't have that problem anymore.

I have to ask the people at school when I can expect my 1098 so I can do my taxes. I just want to get them done and over with. I reapplied for 2014-2015 FAFSA this morning, so I've got that finished. I have all of my books, I went and bought paper and notebooks and pens and pencils and highlighters (I had to stop myself from buying the mother fucking CUTEST backpack ever. My backpack is perfectly fine. I feel silly talking about a backpack, but god dammit, my books are fucking HEAVY). I don't think there's anything I'm missing, school supply-wise. I'm pretty sure I'm as prepared as I can be. I should buy myself a second pair of glasses...maybe even a third...so I can leave a pair in my backpack, leave a pair in my office, and leave a pair at work. That way, I'll never be without them. Because I do have a tendency to forget them.

I feel like my blog is far more inner-monologue-y than I intended it to be. My head sounds exactly like this, except all of these thoughts pile onto each other, and there's also music playing and pictures swirling about. It's hella fucking interesting in here.

A cold, grey bucket of suck

Recap!

Wednesday: I went and had a lovely late lunch with my professor. We spent two hours together at Bhan Thai. Sasha couldn't make it, so it was just us again. That was fine by us, and we had a lovely time. Stevie and I ran a few errands together, since her car was in the shop, and then I took her to go grab her car at the end of the night. I was a busy little bee that day, since I also ran a shitload of errands. I did go to Starbucks, but my battery was dead on my camera. This is typical.

Thursday: I had my volunteer interview with Pikes Peak Hospice. Nailed it! I signed up for their February orientation, and I left the meeting feeling SO much more than excited. I drove over to Stevie's to hang out with her dog, because she had a twelve hour shift and, because Luci has kennel cough, he can't go to his daycare. Mike AND Stevie were there when I arrived; Stevie was on a short break, and Mike was nursing a hangover. I made Mike watch The Mindy Project with me, then Face/Off (he had no idea what it was, and I needed to change that), and then we watched Kindergarten Cop. Because we're adults. Since he was going to be there all day, I didn't feel guilty about leaving. I went and grabbed him some lunch, and went home shortly after. Thursday wasn't a terribly productive day, but it was nice.

Friday: I got an incredibly late start. Mike came down with a stomach bug, and since Stevie was at work, he had nobody to help him out. I went and got him pedialyte, soup, and saltines, dropped them off to him, cooked his soup, and left because I don't want any bad tummy bug germs. I decided driving to and from Denver would be absolutely horrific, since it's a three day weekend for a good many folks, and I just didn't feel like dealing with that. So I went to Manitou Lake instead. There were ice-fishers there! I watched them drill holes with their augers (which is impressive to watch, truth be told. They were hand-powered augers, not electric ones), and set up their little spots, dragging sleds loaded up with equipment across the lake. I felt emboldened by this, and made my way to the middle of the lake, as well. I stood still for a moment, and I heard the ice cracking beneath me. I felt utterly terrified. My first instinct was to run across the ice back toward the land, but I kept telling myself, "BE COOL! You don't want these strangers to think you're a wiener!" So I, instead, walked all the way to the other side, and hoped physics wasn't destined to teach me a lesson I wouldn't soon forget. It didn't. There was beaver evidence, which thrilled me absolutely. I took photos of a gnawed tree, and then hunted for actual beavers. I came up empty handed and disappointed. Maybe next time. The drive to and from the lake was as beautiful as it always is. That drive makes me happy. Stevie, Allen and I went out and had a late dinner at Tucanos. We've stopped allowing cell phone use during dinner so we can enjoy each other's company. I love this rule. Allen told us about Lindsay wanting to come down from Denver and fetch him (because, in his words, "she seriously can't give up the humping." My best friend, ladies and gentleman) later that night, Stevie told us about Mike being a huge baby when he's sick or when he loses, and I had no stories to share of that nature (because obviously), so I instead told them about how excited I am to start running again. On the way home, Allen and I talked about a writing prompt he saw (a picture of a baby in a bubble in outer space, plugged up to machines). I told him I want to write a story for the idea that I had. I'm planning on doing that later tonight.

Tosh and I bailed on the get-together, and she and Ryan are having game night at their house, but I don't really feel like going. I think I'm going to stay home and write that story. Or lay around and do nothing. Or maybe go to the hot tub, because that sounds divine.