Because I know what I'm talking about, and Jan is full of shit.

I have spent the last week reading all of the old entries I reverted to drafts years and years ago, and turning them into posts again. I don't know how it took so long, bit my blog is back to about...65% of what it used to be. My primary takeway from this escapade is how terrible I used to be at photography. Likw, I genuinely cringed looking at my early photos. I cringed reading my accounts of people telling me I should get a website and charge people. I know everyone has to start somewhere, but I just wish I hadn't started there. Yikes. 

 I had oral surgery almost two weeks ago (two weeks ago on Wednesday), and I go in to get all of the fun sutures out of my face on Wednesday of this week. It has been an absolute fucking nightmare not being able to brush my bottom front teeth...the front six teeth. I have no been able to brush or floss. I feel fuzzy and gross in that section of my mouth, and when I sneezed in my mask the other day, I caught a little whiff and almost gagged. Derek said to me the other morning, "I can't wait until you can brush all of your teeth again". You and me both, but way to pile on. 

Yesterday was our seven year wedding anniversary. We did nothing because I think Derek has covid. I made a batzina (on the very precipice of delicious...I think it's a little too minty, but that is hardly my fault as the recipe called for "bunch of mint". That is very vague, but also suggests the use of mint is to the taste) and I also made roasted root veggies with an orange goat cheese dressing. Derek barely ate and then went back to bed. He is in bed now. He's taken one covid test that yielded a negative result, but I also know people who knew they had covid and also got negative results (I think Amber's negative results were the most drastic...if memory serves, she didn't get a positive covid test until she felt almost 100% better). His symptoms sound on brand for covid, but he has been keen to remind me that they are also on brand with just a run of the mill cold. I guess we'll see in a few days, but it was bad enough today that he stayed home from work. 

I did not get the internship with MAST, and I want to write an entire blog about that, including the personal letter of interest I sent in. I am certainly thrilled with my consolation prizes, though, and my gut says that if I were not so laser focused on queer youth, I would have easily had that internship. I think, given the scope of my consolation prizes, I was their second pick, someone else just edged me out. I didn't even know internships gave out consolation prizes to people who didn't get placed. My advisor said that she didn't, either, and it is a testament to me and how impressed the research center was by me that they are offering me the things they are (one of those things is a stipend, and of no small amount!). So I was disappointed, but I am still coming away from the experience with, ironically, everything I wanted to get out of the experience in the first place. So I still win. 

Photography has shut down for the year. I was both busy and not busy this year...busier than I thought I would realistically be, but not as busy as I wanted to be. I will, in the next week or so, be doing my yearly photo dump of my favorite photos from the year. I am hoping to burst into legit advertising next year. I already have a few mershoots scheduled (four at time of this blog being written) for spring when the weather warms up, and I have another model mershoot set up because I need couples, and this is a model couple. Cool by me! I also want to get a big ass boudoir weekend going, where I book an AirBnB for four days and do nothing but shoot, shoot, shoot, but that is presenting problems for me logistically. I want a mix of about 80% clients, 20% models, but I have no fucking clue how to go about marketing this. I know I have one client that wants a boudoir shoot in late spring of next year, and I'm wondering if I can build the weekend around that. Lots of shit to plan out. 

Perhaps most frustrating to update is I may not be able to graduate until fucking summer now. I have one class that went from being available all year to only being available every fall and summer. I did not sign up for it this semester. My advisor and I are supposed to discuss this the next time I can attend office hours, but I missed the last two because I was recovering from having dead people shoved in my face and my mouth sewn in. She says there's a way I can still graduate in the spring, which is what I have been planning on doing. If I hadn't needed a mental health break over the summer I would be graduating next month. If I can manage to get a waiver for this class and be put in another class instead and STILL graduate in spring, I would much much MUCH prefer that. I am fucking tired of school, and I just want to get it over with. Everybody knows this about me, which is why it's so frustrating to have people like Derek tell me I need to get my PhD. I did end up asking my advisor about it, and she gave me some insight, but ugh. I fucking hate academia. It's so fucking biased, it borders on caricature.

I'll write about the internship another day, I'm sure. I'm worried I'm starting to catch whatever it is that Derek has, because I feel...off.