Princess Laritza and the Revenge of the Wench

I wrote in my website blog about what happened on my shoot on Wednesday, but not in here. I'm going to write about it briefly, because I have so much school work to do and photo work to do, and I can't really be wasting time blogging in my usual way. I really do fucking ramble.

The shoot Wednesday was great, we opted to go a little earlier in the day because I can't remember why. We arrived at 9 to start shooting, everything is going great, and then....the ocean ate my phone. Or my phone dove off into the ocean, never to be seen (by me) again.

I have a pretty good sense of humor, and I managed to laugh it off, but I lost so many videos and photos of Gabriel and Sidney, and videos of Gabriel and Sidney, and also like, a fuckton of pictures of my cats. I had photos of my daughter on there. Old photos of me looking resplendent (read: thin and young). I am definitely sad, and the fullness of what happened didn't really hit me until after the shoot was over.

BUT!

I have a fancy new S10 (Pssssst! The S10 doesn't seem any different than the S9! Pass it on!). ANNNNND a fancy new Hawaii number! Which thrills me to no end, and I cannot wait go get my fancy new Hawaii license to go with it. Just in time to leave the island for Germany, if everything goes my way! Our way. Our way, of course. But really my way. I've been starving for Germany since forever. Because my biggest dream has been to be an ex-pat since like, 1999.

Also, in case you were curious, I pretty well think I crushed that god damn shoot. My client made it easy as fuck because he was a dream, but I would have been a thousand times more gutted over losing my phone if the photos I was taking when I lost it weren't some of my favorites to date.

And the grandstanding award goes to....sit down ma'am, and behave yourself, we're presenting an award here!

When Ron Swanson told Leslie Knope not to half ass lots of things when you can whole ass one thing, I did not feel that. I love to half ass many things and then give up on them to pursue my dream of half assing everything I've never half-assed before until I die.

Sometimes, though, I go whole hog and throw myself full steam into something because I want it to be perfect.

Nailing sluts and writing our vows

If the first few weeks of the year are any indication, 2020 is going to be trash.

I have been absolutely riddled with physical depression. My brain feels pretty alright, which is nice, but my body is just exhausted and depressed and I am wholly unmotivated to do anything. It's getting bad enough that I am ALMOST ready to talk to my doctor about antidepressants. Which is a big deal for me, as I've stayed away from them on purpose because I'm terrified of losing my sex drive, of gaining weight, of being put on something that doesn't help and having it exacerbate my problems instead...the devil I know is better than antidepressants, I think is how the phrase goes.

I've been wanting to blog for weeks and I can't even bring myself to do that, until today. I'm having a nice day where I feel relatively ok. I'm anxious to like, go clean my kitchen, but my body is telling me that's too much. I'm just worried that I'm going to lose steam here and I won't even be able to finish a fucking blog post. I haven't even had the energy to post mermaid photos on my instagram, and I can do that shit from my fucking phone without getting up. That's how bad it's been.

I'm going to just post this shit before I slump down and lose the determination to post this, too.

Flower photos!

I was being really purposeful with how I took these and edited them, so they're not quite my usual style. Purely intentional. Except for the little tiny bee butt. I just took that picture because I fucking love bees.