Would you be interested in some sexual positions and emotional investment?

While most kids my age were listening to songs on popular radio stations when I was in elementary school and well into middle school, I was listening to oldies. I kind of wish I could say that it's because I have an old soul or some shit, or I could cry pretension and say that music just isn't good anymore and I knew it from an early age, but I'd be lying. I listened to the oldies station because my mom made me. She didn't want me listening to Salt-N-Pepa, because lest her young white child grow up with a little flava, so I listened to Magic 102.7 (WRMF, as I remember) and stayed tragically unhip because I had no idea who the fuck Color Me Badd was, but I could sing you every single fuckin' Sam Cooke song ever released into the mainstream.

I broke into Top 40s style music in the late late 90s, just in time for the boy band craze and pop princesses, and with enough time for me to want to be a dancer (there are HOURS of dance footage of me floating around the world, but if there's justice in the universe, it's all been taped over), but i've always had a soft spot for music from the 40s, 50s, and 60s. I skip most of the 70s and hop right into the 80s and 90s, and I've kind of stopped looking for new shit around the early aughts. Allen is usually the person who clues me in to new shit, and Suits has given me some fresh new songs to listen to (Aaron Korsch is fucking KILLING IT with the soundtrack. Score? What would you call it in a TV Show?), but I pretty much stick with my three hour playlist full of artists I already love, because I'm boring as all fucking hell.

I've been sitting at my desk editing photos all day, and listening to music on youtube, and it started playing an oldies list, which was fine by me. I still enjoy listening to music from that general vicinity of decades, I still know all of the songs, I still sing along, but it's fairly mindless 99.9% of the time.

Youtube cycled out Runaround Sue by Dion. It's a fucking bop, I won't lie, it's hella catchy. I was singing it and catching the lyrics, and I was like, huh, well, Dion is really fucking gossiping hard about his business with Sue, but it's unsurprising, exes are bitter.

There's the song, for the uninitiated.

I didn't really think anything of it, but the next song that came up was The Wanderer. Also by Dion.

Well. Would you look at the fucking brass balls on this jagweed.



Here's are the lyrics to Runaround Sue:


Here's my story, it's sad but true
It's about a girl that I once knew
She took my love then ran around
With every single guy in town

Yeah I should have known it from the very start
This girl will leave me with a broken heart
Now listen people what I'm telling you
A keep away from a Runaround Sue

I might miss her lips and the smile on her face
The touch of her hair and this girl's warm embrace
So if you don't want to cry like I do
A keep away from-a Runaround Sue

Ah, she likes to travel around
She'll love you and she'll put you down
Now people let me put you wise
Sue goes out with other guys

Here's the moral and the story from the guy who knows
I fell in love and my love still grows
Ask any fool that she ever knew, they'll say
Keep away from-a Runaround Sue

Yeah keep away from this girl
I don't know what she'll do
Keep away from Sue

She likes to travel around
She'll love you and she'll put you down
Now people let me put you wise
She goes out with other guys

Here's the moral and the story from the guy who knows
I fell in love and my love still grows
Ask any fool that she ever knew, they'll say
Keep away from a Runaround Sue

Stay away from that girl
Don't you know what she'll do now


So, it appears that Mr. DiMucci got his heart roughed up by a young lady that is interested in going to sock hops with other beaus, and sharing milkshakes at the local burger joint. That would be a very sad story indeed, if this weren't ALSO a heartfelt croon (which is also a fucking catchy ass jam) from the very same Dion DiMucci. I give you The Wanderer:

Oh well, I'm the type of guy who will never settle down
Where pretty girls are, well you know that I'm around
I kiss 'em and I love 'em cause to me they're all the same
I hug 'em and I squeeze 'em they don't even know my name
They call me the wanderer
Yeah, the wanderer
I roam around, around, around

Oh well, there's Flo on my left and then there's Mary on my right
And Janie is the girl well that I’ll be with tonight
And when she asks me, which one I love the best?
I tear open my shirt and I show "Rosie" on my chest
Cause I'm the wanderer
Yeah, the wanderer
I roam around, around, around

Oh well, I roam from town to town
I go through life without a care
And I'm as happy as a clown
I with my two fists of iron but I'm going nowhere

Oh yeah, I’m the type of guy that likes to roam around
I’m never in one place, I roam from town to town
And when I find myself a-fallin' for some girl
Yeah, I hop right into that car of mine and drive around the world
Yeah I'm the wanderer
Yeah, the wanderer
I roam around, around, around

Oh yeah, I'm the type of guy that likes to roam around
I'm never in one place, I roam from town to town
And when I find myself a-fallin' for some girl
I hop right into that car of mine and drive around the world
Yeah, cause I'm a wanderer
Yeah, a wanderer
I roam around, around, around, around, around, around

Cause I'm a wanderer
Yeah, a wanderer
I roam around, around, around, around, around, around, around
Cause I'm a wanderer
I'm, a wanderer
I roam around, around, around, around

Oh dear. Well isn't this awkward? It would seem that Mr. DiMucci is guilty of a misogynist double standard. Are any of us surprised? No. Is this a revelation? No. 

Really, the only reason I'm writing about it in here is because I laughed my tiddies off at YouTube playing them one right after the other. 

This is a pretty common attitude still. I have had a few male friends who love whoring their dicks around town, and more power to them, it bothers me not at all. What DID bother me was those same male friends making value judgments on the frequency of my slutty escapades like we were somehow different. I am exhausted by men saying they want to whore it up before wifing down, but their future wives can't have fucked too many dudes, if any at all, because who wants that kind of vagina party? Girls must be chaste, while men are free to stick their dicks into everything because LOLMEN, ammiright? Boys will be boys. 

TL;DR? I am listening to the Oblivion OST because I don't wanna hear the Dion Double Standards parade anymore.