I have done seven shoots in the last week (over a period of three days, with one of those days only containing one shoot. So really, over two days), I have four shoots coming up this weekend. I am debating on whether or not I can take on the two shoots I have inquiries for, because our HHG is scheduled to be moved on August 6th, and that's a LOT to add on in two weeks along with the other 11 shoots I have to edit. Two additional shoots doesn't sound like much, but I'm already super fucking stressed out, and I just...I don't know that I have the bandwidth for putting my effort into anything more than I've already taken on.
Just kidding. In the hour it's been since I started this blog, I DID take on another shoot. I think that's going to be it, though. I really can't hack much more stress.
Is anybody else exhausted? I am exhausted. To top everything off, my period got here four days early, and it's like, making sure I am aware that it hates my guts. The human growing ones, in particular. I am tired, I'm bleeding like it's my primary hustle, I am having a lot of dizzy spells, my tummy hurts intermittently (which may be keto flu, I seem to pop in and out of keto the longer I stay with it), and my allergies are going crazy.
I am super ready for bedtime already.
I also turn 36 in four days (two now! I just can't stick with anything until it's finished!). And I'll be working on my birthday, because being an adult fucking sucks. But I DID tell everyone to bring me vegan keto treats, so maybe I'll get lucky?
SO since I wasted two days without finishing this, here's the update:
the "hurricane", which is a hurricane right now but will not be by the time it starts impacting us, has closed my location for Saturday, and rained out Sunday. After conferring with all three of my clients, I pushed all of their shoots back to August 1st, which gives me FOUR shoots that day instead of one. Early ass shoot at China Walls in the morning, then pretty much straight to the three shoots on the exact opposite side of the island.
The shoot I was supposed to do on Sunday that the hurricane is ruining everything for is now being bumped up to Saturday, because the weather should still be pretty good until Saturday evening/early Sunday morning.
Our HHG was moved to September 1st and 2nd. Because no possible way can HHG move our shit on dates where we AREN'T flying out immediately the next day (though in this case, we DO have four days between HHG and our flight out. Which is nicer than last time, when we only had less than 24 hours). Jasper gets shipped to the mainland on August 14th, so we'll have a nice long while on the mainland with no car, which, you know, rules. Not NO car, we'll have a rental, I guess, but fuck that's a lot on a rental. God damn.
Moving is so fucking stressful. I was telling Kati I couldn't complain TOO much, because everything is being packed for me, and moved for me, and I don't have to deal with the expense or the time suck, and really my stress level is pretty minimal as compared to any time we moved on the mainland. I'm uh...I'm still fucking stressed. ESPECIALLY when I think about getting our critters back stateside. As it stands right now, we have 17 hours of flying/layover time, not including the two hours at the airport before we depart, however long it takes to get a rental the day we arrive, and then the two and a half hour drive back
I never thought I'd be saying anything like this, but I can't wait to be in Missouri. I just want to breathe easy again.
Edit on July 29th.
I never published this. I have already turned 36, and I really wish someone had told me I was going to be closer to a smokeshow at 36 than at 26. Not that I wasn't a fucking snack at 26...I was. Though I think 27 and 28 were my snackiest years. But like...it's real hard to be mad at myself at 36. Check it.
I never would have guessed I'd look this decent adjacent this close to 40.
When I was 27, I figured this....
was the hottest I was ever going to be.
I was definitely wrong. At least for me, I can't speak to my hotness from the outside.
I still look JUST as vapid, though! Some things never change.
August 2nd edit:
I'm fucking bad at this. Four shoots yesterday. Booked two more milk baths. I've been so preoccupied with getting everything for the move set up that I ignored booking that other shoot I wanted to do with another mermaid client, and I hope I didn't fuck that one up, because I really want to do that with her. If I can arrange the location, of course. Anyway, days and days later, I'm 36, I'm fabulous, I just spent 200 on make up that is so fucking bright and vibrant and fun and I am so excited and I leave Oahu in less than 40 days.
I'm swamped. Swamped and sad and happy and swamped.
